Nollywood actor and movie director, Kunle Afod, in this interview, tells GODFREY GEORGE about how fatherhood has changed his outlook on life
What does fatherhood mean to you?
Fatherhood means so much to me. This is because, you know, as Africans and in this part of the world, if you have a house, so many cars and other material wealth and don’t have a child, you are viewed by society as incomplete. So, this is why, for me, being a father was something I always looked forward to and I am very thankful to God for the grace to be a father.
What is the most challenging thing for you about being a dad?
The most challenging thing about being a dad is that you have to be a mini-god to your children; you have to be there to provide and care for them. You have to be there for them in all areas of life. It is not easy to be a dad at all, especially in this country. Even if you are on your own, struggling to make ends meet and living your life, the moment you start having kids, you would have no other choice but to double your hustle so as to be able to meet up with all the responsibilities that come with this new status.
When did you decide to become a father and what was the motivation?
I decided to become a dad when I lost my grandfather and there was no GSM then. I remember my dad came to Lagos then and told me that we had to go for my grandfather’s burial. The day my dad visited me with the news of my grandfather’s demise, my friend, Kunle Ramon Adewuyi, popularly known as Poster, had his first child’s christening. My dad knew about this. After the funeral, my dad came to Lagos to appreciate those who came with me. He called my friends and was asking them why they were not talking to me to also ‘do something about his life’ (laughs). He left. Then, tragedy struck. Three days after, I was greeted with the news that my dad had passed on. All I thought of was his last words to me, which was, “Afod, do something with your life.” I told myself, “Afod, this man wants you to be a father, to be more responsible in life.” So, I immediately started planning about how to become a dad.
When did you meet your wife and how long after did you have your first child?
My first child is above 18 years now. There was nothing to waste time on then. I started planning on having kids immediately. You know when you consciously make a plan, it starts working immediately. When you don’t have a concrete plan, that is when unserious girls would come around to tell you they want to be with you and date you. Once you tell them, ‘What I want is a wife, not a girlfriend,’ some of them would start giving excuses. But 18 years ago, God decided time was ripe enough to have my first child.
How did you feel when your wife told you she was pregnant?
(Laughs) When she told me she was pregnant, I didn’t feel anything negative, because I normally prayed for her to get pregnant. So, when she eventually got pregnant, it was a prayer answered. I was so happy. We were both happy. The rest, they say, is history. We thank God.
What went through your mind when you held your first child in your hands?
Holding my first child in my hands, even hearing the news that my wife had been delivered of a baby was one of the sweetest news I have ever heard in all my life. I went from Ibadan to Ijebu-Ode, Ogun State, that day for an event, but on hearing the news, I immediately ran back to Lagos State to carry my baby. When I got to the ward, saw my baby, I lifted her up and was praying to God, telling my late dad that I had finally done something with my life and she was a gift to him. It was such a beautiful experience. I was so fulfilled.
Was it any concern to you what the sex of your first child was?
I had always prayed and longed for a female child and I thank God my first child is a female. After her, it has been an army of boys all through (laughs). There was no concern at all, because children are precious gifts from God, regardless of the sex.
Has fatherhood changed anything about you?
Fatherhood would definitely change a lot of things about you. Your thinking would be different. There is this TuBaba’s song which sings ‘If to say na just me, I will be doing anyhow, because nobody go dey there to challenge me…’, but when you start having children and family, things must definitely change. You’d always be saying, ‘My kids must not see this! My kids must not see this! It is not good like this!’ Ever since I began to have kids, I can no longer empty my plate while eating; I must leave something for my kids. Even if it is just two slices of dodo (plantain), I’d eat one and leave one for my children. Sometimes, you can go and not think of coming back home, but now, it is not going to be possible. In 2020, I wanted to embark on a trip and there was this rumour of lockdown, but because my visa was going to expire, I had to stay back because I couldn’t imagine being locked down in another country without my family by my side.
Were there any tips you learnt from your own father that are helping you in your parenting journey?
For me, there is no tip you can learn from anybody. There are different strokes for different folks. Every family would come with its own style. If you have a father whose children are sicklers and yours are not, is it going to be the same? If your father was not a caring man but you grew up to be a caring and considerate individual, is it the same thing? No. You live your life and manage your own home the way God has planned it out for you.
Did you experience any fear before becoming a father?
I had no fear at all. I was fully ready. I was already close to 30 years, so there was no need to entertain any fear at all.
What are the values you have instilled in yourself that have helped you as a dad?
You cannot come on my social media page and see sexually-explicit contents or dirty and vulgar talks, things that one may not be proud of in the long run. Most of my children have phones and are on social media. Will I be so proud as a dad that my son would come to my page and see all those kinds of things? I am their hero, their mentor. Whatever they see me doing, if they do it, would I be able to complain? So, I have always thought of my children before I do anything.
As an actor, would you say fatherhood has helped you to accomplish your career goals?
That is a definite yes. If you look at the kind of stories that I write now as a father they are family-oriented. Some of the stories I write are things I learnt from my own home.
What language do you speak to your children at home?
Mostly, we speak English, but I make sure I speak Yoruba to them, too. I even have a son who speaks Yoruba like he is a Yoruba lecturer. I don’t know where he learnt that from. He has been like that right from when he was very young. If my kids were abroad, I would be speaking more Yoruba to them than English, because of the environment. They are in Lagos and Yoruba is everywhere around them. They’d definitely pick up Yoruba.
Have you had to sacrifice any habit as a result of being a father?
I don’t have any habits that cannot be copied by my children.
Source; PUNCH